Bresh Yo Teef!

Bresh Yo Teef!
I live in a cultural wasteland. The summers stretch out endlessly and we locals have to take what meager offerings we can get if we want an educational outing for our children. Thus is the reason I was at our library's Summer Reading Program yesterday listening to a lecture on the benefits of dairy products.
The program is intended for children from first to fourth grade, if I'm not mistaken. Once a week we go and my children record the books they've read for the week, check out new books,and then go into an ampitheater-like room to see the week's demonstration. Last week's guest was an aging pirate concerned with the plundering of the earth and seas.
This week's lecturer,we'll call her Mrs. D, had a thick regional accent and arrived from our local "Fo'-H building". She was a lovely older lady and seemed passionate about children getting the proper "nucritions", a topic that I,too find worthy. She began with visual aids including various Zip-Lock bags filled with different amounts of foam peanuts. These were to demonstrate how much calciums peoples have in they bones at different ages.
"What other parts of the body do peoples need calcium fo'?" she inquired of the children. "Strong!" piped up one exuberant young man." Milk!" yelled another. While Mrs. D. agreed that these were fine guesses, she went on to say that 'teef' was the answer she was looking for. She explained that the age group present should be especially concerned with dental care. " When peoples is six to eight years old they staht to shed they teef." I grinned and mouthed the word "shed" to my 9 year-old son sitting next to me and he responded by giving me a stern look and putting his finger over his lips.
"Now", Mrs. D continued," Who is it that we jus' can't stand? Who is it that we just hates to go see? The DENTIST! Even so,its very impo'tant that we visit him. Its also impo'tant that you what? BRESH YO TEEF!" These things along with proper calcium intake would guarantee a healthy smile and avoidance of dentures. One child raised his hand to say that all his grandma's teeth had fallen out. He wondered if she were in danger of getting cavities in her "fake teeth".
The knowledgeable Mrs. D. assured the child that his grandmother's dentures was safe as long as she be soakin' 'em in that Efferdent. This led her seamlessly to a quick overview of bone health for the elderly. " You know when you be seein' the womens and they be all walkin hunckered over? " she asked "Well, that's that OSTEO-SPO-ROSIS!" ,she informed
After some brief discussion on lactose intolerance and the danger of the gas that such a malady presented, Mrs. D gave us some good examples of dairy foods to choose from. She ended her fine demonstration with the showing of an antiquated poster of the food pyramid and we were dismissed. All in all it was an entertaining and informative afternoon.